7 Strange Indie Lyrics Explored (More or Less)

28 February, 2014

You've come to the right http for I am about to attempt to raise the veil and put the die in Indie.




By Zaina Budaly




Are you an Indie? Do you strut around town in faded (or often torn) pantaloons with a lack of direction you mistake for actually going somewhere? Is your messy hair your one and only pride? Do you, in times of retrospection (with a steaming cuppa betwixt your fingers) think to yourself about the musical jingle infiltrating through your sideburns to your ears? Do you, championer of the surreal, need a bite-sized blast from the past to revive you? Well, you've come to the right http for I am about to attempt to raise the veil and put the die in Indie.  Don't get me wrong, I'm an Indie fan as much as the next-tight-jeans-wearing enthusiast but sometimes you have to wonder, what were these artists thinking - lyrics-wise and more importantly - what were they ON?



1.  Let's start off with Blur and their Song 2, a crowd-pleaser.


Everyone loves this 90's classic.  But there is a serious problem with this song in that it makes no sense at all - I got my head checked, by a jumbo jet.  Now. Wait a minute. Did you? What was that like? Or is that some sort of innuendo, or pigeon English for 'I got well and truly trolleyed last night and got whacked in the face with a bottle'.  If not, then how easy is it to just stumble upon a jumbo jet and then have it forensically examine your head? It all sounds pretty dodgy.  He tops it off with a statement that might give us a clue - It wasn't easy.  Never mind. I bet this is what actually happened...




We'll never know. But who cares? There's a good excuse for a chorus (woo-OOH!) waiting to get you bouncing around your confinements like a right prat.




2. Let's stagger onto the next dodgy lot, another vastly infectious, humungous band of the 90's - Oasis. 


You're my wonderwall, they moan.  We sing along, not having a clue what a wonderwall is or could potentially be.  Maybe it's the sound of one hand clapping or that one thing Meatloaf just won't do. 


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3. In 'Supersonic', they go on about this girl called Elsa and according to them she had it off with a doctor on a helicopter...sniffing in a tissue, selling the Big Issue.  


What kind of an inconsiderate doctor would risk his own and another civilian's life by doing it on a helicopter? What was the pilot doing at the time? Twiddling his thumbs?  Bit awkward! And why is this Elsa woman selling the Big Issue when she's sponging off a rich, upper middle class doctor?  She should be at M&S doing her weekly food shop.  They should've stuck to something more probable like, she done it on her sofa, next to a tub of Flora... That's better. 







4. Now, you can't go through that dark and lonesome thicket of Britpop without stumbling up on to Coldplay for all Indie roads lead to Chris Martin and his comrades.


Not really.  But I have a little bone to pick with them.  It's not great but annoying enough. In the song 'Clocks' Mr Martin would repeat, you are in the chorus. And I used to think, what is he trying to say? I am...what? 


Youuuu areee what?


You are...therefore you think?


Youuuuuuuuuuuu.....Please don't. ARE.


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Moving on to some really messed up men who can't make up their minds. 



5. First off, The Pigeon Detectives.  


I do wonder who came up with that terrible name. No-one likes pigeons, they always attack you for no reason and they're disgusting. It's as bad as calling your band The Sewage Rat Inspectors.  But anyway, there's a lot going on in the song 'This is an emergency', it's massive rant for nothing.  First of all, the singer repeats, Don't make me go home for a million times like a six year old having a hissy fit in 'Toy R Us' and then he complains, probably to his girlfriend, I'm not here to reflect you, I wish your friends would leave me alone. And I can't connect to people I don't know from back home.  Well, if that's the case then maybe you should go home if her friends are pestering you. It's not an emergency, you just need to relax. 







6. Another contradicting case is in 'Nature's Law' by Embrace - an uplifting ballad about how you should never fight your feelings.  


Very cheesy, addictive stuff that has all the right elements to tingle your special place and uplift you. But no. Wait. The singer seems to go from being happy to sad to happy and then sad, I struggled and I lost the day you knocked me out, now everything's got meaning, and meanings bring me down.  Simply put, he got knocked out but it made him happy because he found 'meaning' but then he was sad again and then, oh wait what do we have here? An uplifting, breath-taking chorus.  It doesn't make any sense. 



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7. Lastly, we come to Athlete, a band from Deptford, London who rose to fame with the song 'Wires' then some time down the line released a song called 'Tourist'.   


It starts off with, This European air, it always warms my face, I wish I could buy some.  There are quite a few problems here.  Let's start with the obvious fact that they live in London so they're always surrounded by this 'European air', so why would they buy some?  Not that it would ever be possible to do that.  It's like saying 'Ooh, I wish I could steal my own possessions' or 'I hope one day I'll marry myself'.  Can you imagine them going on Dragon's Den to get money for this 'European air' which they've happened to put in labelled, air-tight jam jars?


'Feel it Deborah, it's waaarm.'


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